Did you ever have an issue with the ICT colleague who seldom cooperate you with a software installation or a technical issue resolve?Did you wonder what is the science behind conflict?
Are you clueless why the mother of your child’s friend quite often gives you the look “Do I know you” despite the fact that both of your children studies together for quite a long time.
Have your spouse complained about how much she has to sacrifice for you, as you do not understand her priorities?
I guess this example will go on and on and in most cases we will be on same page. These simple examples of conflicts can sometimes drag into bigger points. Human need to be belonged and valued makes it necessary for us to know why we may not get along with some and how to deal with the conflicts that hinders our goals and relationships.
The science behind Conflict
Two people aiming for a shared goal generally have same priority and understand what is best for each other. Vice versa may arise if two person aims for different goals or have a conflicting goal (mutually exclusive option).Than conflicts may arise.
Some people are friendly others not, some are egoistic while some are liberal, some are conservative some are modern, some are jolly while some are very sentimental and difficult to handle. Different personalities may feel attracted but like minded people generally get along well. Difference in personality traits causes most of the conflict.
Conflict due to scarcity in resource is a very common thing. Suppose you need a gas line for your home but only one person in your neighborhood will get the connection as there is scarcity. A conflict between neighbors will be inevitable.
Different family and educational backgrounds,
experiences, financial situation, IQ and training can lead to different perception for individual under the same context of reality. Such variation in perception also causes difference in judgment and results conflict.
Colliding of principles and interests:
Conflict arise between a bank’s credit and marketing department quite often. It happens because of both parties interests are conflicting. Though both want company to profit Credit wants it through maintain a good credit rated portfolio and marketing wants to have a bigger portfolio irrespective of the quality of credit.
Such conflicts are manageable if a neutral party can pacify and lighten why each are so different in judgments.
Power and status differences:
Powerful people behave differently than those with less power; sometime a negotiator can say all the rational and positive thing still other party may remain unconvinced. This occur when status of two individual is very different and a sense of competition or insecurity exist. Powerless people quite often loath the powerful.
Skepticism or disgust may exist between them this lead to not understanding the logic and behaving irrationally. Vice versa also happen.Those with certain hold of power become cripple to understand the point of view of the weaker. Such differences lead to obvious conflict in all aspect of society especially in organizations.
Conflict has some advantages
Science says it is obvious to have conflict. Before resisting the idea that conflict exist let us look at the brighter side. All conflicts are not bad
- Conflict shows that problems exist
- Discussion of conflicting views help to lead towards better solutions.
- If conflict is recognized and steps are taken to resolve it than it saves time energy and long-term bitterness
- Many times conflict may occur by challenging an old assumptions, such initiative can lead to changes in obsolete beliefs and processes.
- Creative idea and solutions are promoted at conflict resolution.
- Sometimes a conflict gives the opportunity to know about the other person’s priority.
- Through conflict resolution apparently builds up self esteem.
- Conflict resolution helps mutual understanding and self improvement.
This is why how a person deals with conflict limits or allows to a great extent to his personal and professional success.So next time you have a conflict do not rush into blame game and be skeptic about the science behind conflict.This may help you to resolve the conflict as well.