7 ways to go through breakups

7 ways to go through breakups
Lets have a grip on our heart

Every romantic relationship is generally full with dream and hope. No matter how long it sustained whether the other one was dedicated in it or not when a break up happen we feel heartbroken. It is not uncommon to be unable to retrieve from it even after a year.So here is 7 ways to go through breakups that will reduce your struggle and save you time to move on.

7 ways to go through breakupsBeside the missing part breakup brings lot of helpless feelings. A survey on 5,705 people in nearly 100 countries about their breakups and grief afterwards revealed some interesting facts

Though women generally initiate a break up they also suffer more severely than men. Most dominant pain of suffering are-anxity, depression, insomnia or lack of sleep, weight change etc. Especially those who are dumped take a long time to self discover and gain trust in a relationship.

Step 1

Accept the reality and grieve out

7 ways to go through breakups
Accept reality

Sheri Meyers a marriage therapist told in Huffington post –the first thing in breakup has to be the anticipation of the part of the process when one feel-terrified about the future, one sense the abandonment feeling. She says it is important to acknowledge the pain and loss to be able to be-Me from Us.

  1. Write-A very easy way to let your feeling out is-Writing it down.
7 ways to go through breakups
Write down your feeling

It is a healthy way to vent on some one. As long as we do not let it out we keep dreaming or talking or thinking about it in the mind.

  1. Keep it clean-Clean up your room and office space as much as possible of the things that remind you of him/her.
7 ways to go through breakups
Keep away things that remind you of the pain

This will help you, not to intensify the pain anymore in every occasion they are suppose to trigger you of a memory.

  1. Give away-There was a time people suggested go shop as a part of breakup recovery process.
7 ways to go through breakups
Do give away to feel better

However surveys say you feel better about yourself when you give away or donate something. So as a grieving process you can try this new mechanism.

 

  1. Cry or talk-Despite the limited evidence that ‘Crying help you feel better’ by researchers, it is still an effective mechanism to cope with grief for many people. Specially for those who used to receive attention in childhood after a cry.
7 ways to go through breakups
Cry out (it can really help)

who feel better after a cry or after talking to a therapist or trusted one about your pain than you should not resist it. Give it a try.

Step 2

Have a concept of who you are what you need

A study in 2012 found that people with “poor self-concept” had a harder time moving forward after a breakup. Those who know what are their expectation, limitation, self worth to a good extent have a better mechanism to deal with the loss.

7 ways to go through breakups
Have an actualization of who you are

They have strong sense of what they are and what they deserve. Somehow these self conscious people usually have a better reflex.

Researcher also found that those who reflected upon their relationship usually get over it quickly.So when you are feeling quite at a loss after a failed relationship, do not lose your feeling of self worth, which is very common in most cases.

Stop blaming yourself or stop finding whose fault lead to this, day after day .Concentrate on what makes you happy and try to go for it.

  1. Be thankful for the good things

This technique is quite magical. When only disrespect, loss, pain, failure and negative feelings are fueling up in your mind if you try exercising thankfulness it will offer you some comfort.  However easy to say but difficult to act, it is quite difficult for anyone to look beyond the loss and immediate pain from the breakup and recognize the great things once achieved and was happy for.

7 ways to go through breakups
Practice gratitude

Challenge is -to be able to go past the cloud of negativity and rediscover the great things one already has with gratitude. Even studies suggest gratitude let one feel more positive.

  1. Do things you like

At a gloomy stage of life we often neglect the power of going out with friends or having dinner outside home. The mind is always busy in grieving or thinking back and forth about the failed relationship, that it often forgets the events that used to refresh mind.

7 ways to go through breakups
take a break from breakup

In such cases forcibly take a break from breakup pain, call a person you like to hang out with, go out with friends, family or colleague for a meal, on a road trip, to a movie theater or to the places you loved to go.

  1. Take care

Whether it is a fight, a troubled relationship or a break up; when mind suffers body also suffers.

7 ways to go through breakups
Do not ignore the power of physical excercise

Give body a boost.   Do exercise regularly and do not ignore the power of a spa day. It will relax you, make you feel special and help you to rejuvenate

7 ways to go through breakups
A spa day can help

No matter how serious the relation was, it is never worth more than your future. In most cases break up leaves us at zero ground and everything seems difficult to build again. However break up is not worth an excuse to be depressed or indulging you in an unhealthy lifestyle, so let us embrace a healthy mechanism to cope with the change. These 7 ways to go through breakups are easy to follow and make sense when you really follow it.After all life is too short to waste for holding onto  a failed relationship,isn’t it?

Be smart

Be smart
Be smart,Be ready

How to be smart is a question even the smartest guy seeks an answer for. No matter how intelligent people believe one is, there is no harm in being a little bit more. Fortunately unlike height, smartness or intelligence does not stop growing with age.Those who watched the movie “Age of Adaline” must have wonder how she can be so smart. The logical explanation is, our brain is designed in such a way that with experience and situation handling we can really become smarter day by day. However if we do something more than just to observe and learn, this capacity will be magnified. It will not take a lot of energy or money just a few tricks can help.

1.  Make learning a conscious business

We have the richest source of information that is- Internet which we do not always use meticulously. If you start counting how many times you unlocked your phone to check a mail or a notification, than to how many times you opted for a reading material; then you will agree with me. We do not use internet smartly. Be smart about how long you spend online. Choose qualitative material that somehow contributes to nourishment to your mind.

Be smarter
How learning can help brain to connect

Read as much as you can it may be a novel, a historical story or a review of a play. Reading will help you to grow more, learn more if nothing else; will add value by teaching you how to use new phrases or enrich vocabulary.

2. To be smart -Be friend with people smarter than you

Your smarter friend will solve a problem in a way you could not think of. He will raise a question that you will find interesting but did not come into your mind earlier. Smart friends help you with the work and the ways you find a solution. They give better advice and give you a healthy competition. I know the effect because I was always blessed to be friend with people smarter than me.

be smarter
Smarter friends not only help you to survive they help you to be smarter

We cannot always be friend with the people we want, but if we have smarter friends or smarter colleagues; it is wise for us to hang with them more. Research shows a person’s IQ is close to 5 people he hangs out with. So accept the fact that there are smarter people than you and try to hang around them more.

3. Promote Creativity

Paper pasting, finger painting or craft making activities has been incorporated in early education to foster creativity. Creativity helps people to be more agile and help them to find unconventional solution.

Be smarter
promote creativity

Try being creative when searching for a solution. It will give jolt to your brain and help you to not only find a better solution but also to reinvent your smarter self.

4.Visit Places

Visiting places is something gets your brain a long term memory. You may have spent hours watching same views in discovery but when you are actually present at a new place you observe it in details. You really get to learn about people, culture, food, tradition altogether you experience something huge and it is stored in the cells of your brain that stores long-term memory.

Be smarter
Neuropsychologists described new and challenging condition helps the brain to grow dendrites, it literally grows the brain’s capacity

Paul Nussbaum, a clinical neuropsychologist of University of Pittsburgh says “When you expose your brain to an environment that’s novel and complex or new and difficult, the brain literally reacts,” he described new and challenging condition helps the brain to grow dendrites, it literally grows the brain’s capacity.

When you visit any new restaurant or take a new route this help brainstorming. Mind cannot go to auto pilot mode on the contrary it seeks for all your attention to function properly. Brainstorming begins and it helps you to step one step forward to the journey of becoming smarter you.

5. Challenge Yourself

Stretching helps our body to get into shape, if  brain is given a difficult task to complete it initiates the brains storming, which is a healthy exercise for brain. Brainstorming or giving your brain a challenge is not giving yourself a word puzzle or something you already know but practicing again. It means learning something new.

Be smarter
Historicalay those who have been intellectually engaged shows better brain activities even at older age

Historically those who have been intellectually engaged shows better brain activities even at older age .To prove what affects a brain most to stay active and enhance it’s power Denise Park, psychologist and head of UTD’s Center for Vital Longevity, and her colleagues conducted a study.

  • Sample size -259
  • Age- 60 and 90
  • Groups-6
  • Per week activity- 15 hour per week
  • Result-Active learning challenges show most development in human brain. It helps to reduce the adverse affect of aging on our brain.

6.Role-Play

be smart
Role playing helps in promoting creativity

Role playing is a great idea especially for those in struggling to be creative. When you put yourself in others shoe you re evaluate their conduct and action. It helps you to rethink and help you to enter into different perspectives.

be smart
Role play is an engaging process to help your brain knowing other role

It has a very good effect on child rearing. Asking a child to put himself in your shoe will help him to exercise more empathy. It has significant influence in enhancing emotional intelligence.

7.Food and Exercise

When you portrait you smarter self do you see him to be a bit more active and healthier than you are now? Well I believe I do.

be smart
Infographic from Active Living Research shows the effect of physical activity on brain

Science says-Active people have more brain power than inactive people. So being physically more active will literally affect you becoming more intelligent. In case your scope of physical activity is dire, you can choose to do more exercise this will also do the job.

Food has immediate and long term effect on the soundness and efficiency of our body and brain. If your diet is not balanced you can consider adding a multivitamin ,an omega-3 fatty acid and mineral complex supplement to fill the gaps of some of the essentials. Also you should never starve because while you are starving your brain’s capacity to work reduces.

be smart
Food has immediate and long term effect on the soundness and efficiency of our body and brain

Some Foods that help brain active and reduces risk of disease are described here.

  • Blueberries– improving or delaying short term memory loss
  • Broccoli-A great source of vitamin K. Vitamin K enhances cognitive function and pick up brainpower.
  • Oily Fish- Essential fatty acids (EFAs) like- effective omega-3 fats is found as plenty in oily fish as EPA and DHA.
  • Wholegrain– Wholegrain containing low-GI, It release glucose slowly in bloodstream. It keeps one mentally alert and energetic for long time.
  • Tomatoes-Rich source of lycopene, a powerful antioxidant protect against found in development of dementia specially Alzheimer.
  • Pumpkin seeds-Rich source of Zinc. Zinc enhances memory and thinking skills.

If you already have a healthy diet plan with all nutrient that fulfills your dietary needs than nothing else is required ;but if you feel  there is a room for introducing healthier diet, becoming more active and adding some more minutes of physical exercise into your regime, than do not hesitate to start it now.

8.Work in group and talk with more people

Group works are part of corporate culture nowadays. Research shows groups create better results so no question of playing solo. In a group as you come in touch with many people with different perspective a single problem is approached in many different ways. Also you may find people hard to negotiate with. These multi dimensional personality and interactions enrich your experience on how to handle difficult situations.

Be smart
Research shows groups create better results

 

Talking to group members can go beyond work related issues. Knowing each person with different story and struggle of life can inspire you and help you feel more blessed for the way things have turned out for you. The whole process helps you to be a smarter person.

Becoming smarter is not that difficult. It requires some very essential practices of life lacks. It involves stretching of brain and body. It also needs more conscious effort to enrich you aesthetically and intellectually. All of the effort in the end of the day will only add more value to you and raise higher confidence.

Why we should not stress|Stress damages and recovery

Stress damages and remedy

Did you know adult of today find family responsibilities to be more stressful than the adult of 60s. It may be the speed of life,the growing needs and complexity of life or it may be our lifestyle.Stress is a natural process ,it is common in human to feel stressed under certain conditions. Our body reacts to stress by releasing hormone, increasing heart beat  and breathing rate.However what stress do to our body is completely detrimental so in light of today’s stressful lifestyle it is only super essential to know about Stress damages and recovery.

Stress damages and recovery
Stress helps us to cope with a situation

and provides more oxygen to brain.

Stress can be dangerous to our body under some condition.

Stress hormone or Cortisol,is  essential for life. It give you quick boost of energy. There are some diseases like arthritis that require influence of cortisol for healing. Cortisol can shut immune system and focus body’s all energy into something. But like dark chocolate and wine too much of a good thing can lead to a bad thing. Cortisol fluctuates from person to person, by gender, by timing of the day and other factors like stress.

Effect on Central nervous system (CNS)

Those who watched the movie inside out has seen how brain has to constantly struggle to make the mind work without pressure. Whenever we get stressed our CNS gives direction to adrenal glands to release adrenaline and cortisol. When the initial worry leaves CNS asks all system to back to normal.

Stress damages and recovery
Effect of stress on Central nervous system (CNS)

In chronic stress, anxiety lingers for years after years. So naturally release of adrenals and cortisol is higher than usual all the time. This leaves someone’s physical and mental system completely distressed. It causes- irritability, anxiety, headaches, insomnia and depression. Chronic stress can be a byproduct of drug addiction, social withdrawal, over eating or not eating enough etc. Traumatic -One that keep stress level high for a very long time like-Stress from a special situation ie war

Effect on Immune System

Stress hormone cortisol compromises our immune system. It let histamine discharge and provoke reaction to germs and other harmful foreign invaders .So those are always stressed are seldom found to be always sick of apparently harmless diseases like-influenza, cold ,late recovery from illness.

Effect on Respiratory and Cardiovascular Systems

Stress need to be addressed by letting heart pump faster,breathe faster ,it raises blood pressure and blood vessel. If it goes out of control we will be at risk of heart attack or stroke.

Stress damages and recovery
Stress can cause heart attack

Someone with a respiratory disease like-asthma finds it more difficult to breath during stress.Frequent and chronic stress are thus poses more threat to our Respiratory and Cardiovascular Systems.

Effect on Muscular System

Stressed people hysterically do not bother about  their health.Many do not exercise or visit gym rather go for a pain killer when the back pain or shoulder pain do not let them function.It is another by product of stress.

Stress damages and recovery
Stress can cause back pain

Muscles tights up during stress and loosens after stress.Frequent stress causes frequent muscle tightening and lesser time for relaxing.This causes shoulder and back pain to grow and live for good.

Effect on Sexuality and Reproductive System

Research shows that due to a happy or a stressed day, love for spouse or an affair outside marriage all emotional roller coaster causes men to opt for more sex. It happens because stress and surge of feeling happiness causes rise in male hormone testosterone. However in long run frequent stress and chronic stress leaves men’s desire for sex to go down. Exhausted body and mind can not perform sex.

Stress damages and recovery
stress leaves men’s desire for sex to go down

Moreover in long run man’s testosterone levels drops due to stress. This reduce production of sperm sometime it may accelerate to impotence.

For women menstrual cycle get badly affected due to stress. All bad signs of menstrual cycle starting from –irregular period, no period, painful or heavier period to painful menopause are byproduct of frequent or chronic stress.

Effect on Digestive System

Have you ever got sick out of stress? Did you ever experience a nervous kid to vomit just before his reciting competition? Have you got sick diarrhea right after a stressful sales meeting in office? Yes many of us have or experienced someone else to have gone through such collapse of digestive system. This is very common syndrome for stressed people. Stress makes involuntary movement of food in body causing digestive system quite unable to function properly.

 

Stress damages and recovery
Digestive system gets affected due to stress

Stress fighting techniques like- rush of hormone; fast breathing can cause acid reflux. Did you face an acidic attack or have your ulcer got worse off after the birthday party you arranged all by yourself? This type of reaction is only an example of how stress can gear up ulcer.

Stress damages and recovery
Stress causes poor digestive system

But worst is chronic stress. Diabetes is another byproduct of chronic stress. Stress causes liver to produce more than normal level of glucose. Its purpose is to help body fight stress though a boost of energy. However this unused blood sugar is absorbed by the body and sometime body fails to absob it properly, than it leaves us at risk of developing type2 diabetes (the most common one).

Relation between Stress , Depression and Cortisol

  • Cortisol (stress hormone) provides remedy to many diseases specially ones which are characterized by inflammation – like arthritis. Too much cortisol for a prolonged time causes –depression or mania. So such doses are given sporadically.
Stress damages and recovery
Steroid treatment and depression are strongly related
  • If cortisol levels are raised for prolonged periods, than many cognive disorders like memory loss, depression. Same problems are assumed to exist if stress persists for too long a period.
  • Patients have marked cognitive problems, such as memory impairments; they are also commonly depressed, which may resolve rapidly after cortisol levels are normalized – unlike the cognitive deficits, which may persist. This may be why persistent stress may have similar effects
  • Cortisol level is highest in morning, specially 30 minuite after waking. Those who later become depressed are commonly surge more morning cortisol relative to other.
Stress damages and recovery
Cortisol level reduces with time in a day
  • Women are more prone to depression and women have 20% more cortisol than men.
  • Studies show that cortisol damages brain.  The hippocampus (involved in memory) gets adversely affected by cortisol. Hippocampus generates new neurons so if it gets effected than neuron does generate and brain gets threatened.
  • Head injury gets worsen if cortisol is given.

If someone is alive he must have some kind of stress. Too much stress on the other hand is quite obviously damaging for both our physical and mental health. So considering the stress damages and recovery options, we should try all the techniques that are available to keep our cortisol level checked and stress minimal.

6 super effective way to redeem Stress

Stress has become a global and phenomenal cause behind diseases and unhealthy life style of individuals. Whether it is work, parental responsibilities, mid life crisis, adolescence complicacies: it looks like all problem are destined to high stress level. However it may sound surprising but women beats men when it comes to the overall stress level.These 6 super effective way to redeem Stress will surely be a manual to those stressed people who are looking for help.

6 super effective way to redeem Stress
Let not stress make us less

*Source American Physiological association report in 2015

Also stress seem to be increasing among people, People under this study accepted their inability to cope with stress, which can help them manage daily life. Stress is detrimental to our physical and mental health. Excessive stress cause people chronic health issues if it continues 10 years on a row. So let us plan things to check our level of stress.

  1. Limit use of media

There are controversies about use of social media and technologies and its impact on stress. Some studies show the increased level of stress from using these technologies is simply a result of more awareness.

Another study showed Women who use fewer technologies are more stressed by using these social media networks simply because they are more affected by the events occurring to people near them.

So there is no need to completely move to an island of disconnection. We simply need to limit the use of TV, Phone and Social networking to a lesser percentage amount of time we usually spend so that we can concentrate on other things a little more or enjoy the peace of not looking in a screen always. It does remove unnecessary stress that cause from being busy for no productive reason.

  1. Foods to eat

out of 10 people are stressed out, revealed in a survey of 2013. Only limiting use of media time cannot make significant difference. We need to adapt a better lifestyle. Fortunately there are choices of food that can help us to reduce stress.

  • Dark chocolate-
6 super effective way to redeem Stress
Dark chocolate reduces stress

If one can have 1 to 2 ounce dark chocolate which contains 65% cocoa than it can be help reducing stress by-

  • lowering stress hormones in our body,
  • Lowering blood pressure and cholesterol
  • Boosting mood
  • Omega-3 fatty acids

Essential Fatty acid helps to fight stress and help to maintain a good health. Fish oil protect against heart disease, Borage oil protect against arthritic pain. Flaxseed and chia seed or walnut that contains much Omega-3 is believed to fight against depression, though much research is still on process to strongly support the fact but nowadays people are taking multi EFA so that they can protect themselves against many health issue and support stress management.

So if eating two servings (every week) of Tuna/Salmon/herring/Sardins is not feasible for someone ,than supplement of Omega 3 can also do the stress management job.

  • Citrus fruits.

Along with weight loss citrus fruits are also helpful in stress management-Vitamin C in

6 super effective way to redeem Stress
citrus fruits helps to manage stress

.

Men’s daily need of Vitamin C Women’s daily need of Vitamin C
75 mg 95mg

 

Rich sources of vitamin c are- Strawberries, red and green peppers, tomatoes, kiwifruit, baked potatoes, broccoli.

  1. Exercise

Body and mind are closely bonded friends. So when our body feels active our mind follows.

6 super effective way to redeem Stress
Exercise and physical activities produce endorphin which reduces stress

Exercise creates endorphin, endorphin are natural pain killers and helps to increase sleeping ability. More sleep equals to less stress .Also scientists have found exercise reduces level of tension, stabilize mood and improve self esteem. Forms of exercise that can be helpful to reduce stress are-

  • High-energy activities like running, dancing
  • Progressive muscle relaxation exercises
  • Yoga
  • Aerobics
  • Pilates

 

I have covered 3 ways out of 6 super effective way to redeem Stress anyone who will follow these three will get certain result.However my next 3 points are also quite effective and easy to follow

  1. Writing out-

We often cannot define our thoughts or fears. Cannot share them with the close one, but talking to ourselves and replaying the distressful events that may drain us out of stamina can not solve the problem or reduce it however writing can.

6 super effective way to redeem Stress
Writing out stress causing activity can reduce stress

Some super smart effect of writing on stress are summarized below-

Writing removes anger

 

When we write down things that makes us angry  anger releases to some extent. Best thing about such release is it is harmless. Sometimes writing down the cause and revenge tactics of anger can even make us smile at our impulsiveness too.
Writing neutralize us

 

As we write we can concentrate on the series of events that is bothering us. Sometimes it helps us to see it more neutrally. Thus we get a better perspective and find a reason to not be stressed out due to anger, hatred or any other feeling that was stressing us out.
Writing works like  exercise Walking and writing are similar kind of exercise one for body another for mind. Writing slows breathing pace, allow us to concentrate on words and grammar, and switches our concentration from stressing activity to a mindful productive action. Also like any other exercise writing makes us tired enough to sleep more.
  1. Let your feelings out-

As a request of my 7 years old daughter when I joined my kid’s parent group for a school event I found that it was a detox of stress relief for me. All parents were from different world than mine. Yet their stories of everyday struggle and those chortle I had with them were life saving. Sooner I eased up,shared my bit of stories too, and it helped to reduce my stress more than any medication.

6 super effective way to redeem Stress
A sincere word with a sincere friend can help redeem stress

We can laugh, cry and talk to ease us down, if we have group or a few trusted friend to share our feelings with than it is a bonus. If not we can join a support group or a online forum too.

  1. Try out a favorite thing-

It may seem impossible to find time or energy for a long forgotten hobby like- crafting art, gardening, volunteering,

However such favorite activity will divert our attention for a good amount of time and regular practice will relieve stress, evidently.

Stress is inevitable. Whether it is work or family or a lack of balance between both, stress cannot be avoided. Some stress is good for us to keep us driven. But too much untreated stress is like slow poison. It should not be ignored as too much stress is behind the reason of all chronic illness.Luckily  most cases stress is manageable and in most cases the tactics actually makes us more happy and energetic. So lets not get stressed about stress and try some of this techniques to redeem stress.